Stephanie has been trying and trying to get me to agree. "But look at it! It's all over his face. He can't even see!" I still didn't want to cut it. It's falling out everywhere else but the very top. Why cut it off when there's only that one patch on top?
But over the past week or two, several random strangers have made comments about our cute little "girl." The straw that broke the camel's back was the guy at Great Beginnings calling him a "princess." That's enough. Time to trim the troupe.
I would love to make a slideshow displaying the evolution of Levi's hair...but right now I don't have time. However, at 4:00 today we will be broadcasting LIVE from Levi's house for his first ever haircut. If you want to witness this momentous occasion, just click on this link a little before 4:00 today (November 14).
When I was younger, I used to be a huge Dave Barry fan. His witty yet painfully corny humor kept me laughing for hours. A while ago, for Father's Day I think, Steph bought be Dave Barry's newest book, "I'll Mature When I'm Dead." In a letter to first-time-dads-to-be, Barry describes a very special experience that every father has with his son.
"It will happen when your baby is around three months old. He or she will be lying on his or her back, making random baby movements and sounds, as though communicating with invisible space aliens. Suddenly you and your baby will make eye contact, and something will pass between you. Then you will lean over and -- as millions of fathers have before you -- you will place your mouth on your baby's belly and blow in such a manner as to make a sound like a musk ox breaking wind. This will have a profound effect on your baby. This will strike your baby as the funniest thing that he or she has experienced in his or her entire life. Your baby will laugh, and it will be the purest and best laugh you ever heard. You will laugh, too, and you will have no choice but to re-flatulate the baby's belly, and your baby will think it's even funnier the second time. So you'll do it again, and again, and again, and it will get FUNNIER EVERY TIME. You and your baby will be laughing and drooling like a pair of morons. Which you are, but in a good way."
So needless to say, I had been waiting for this moment. And finally today, Saturday, October 9 it happened.
Levi is a very popular guy. He's a superstar on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Yahoo, etc...everybody wants a piece of the little guy. I'm thinking about scheduling some autograph sessions for him.
But one of his biggest fans is his Great Grandma Jean. She follows Levi wherever he goes on the interwebs. Recently, she saw a video of him and immediately called my cell phone. The voicemail she left me was too precious not to share. I'll transcribe it word for word:
Michael, this is Grandma. I just cant stop thinking about that little Levi David. He is the cutest thing on two legs. That last video of him rolling over and you two exclaiming and clapping and joyful and he looks up at you and says "what the hell is going on?" with that quizzical look in his face. He is so adorable I just could eat him up. And I just love you taking all these little videos for me. This is just such a delight I just love that little thing!
Anyway, I just had to tell you I can't stop thinking about him. He's so precious. Aight, take care. I hope you're both well.
I love you,
Bye
Grandma, this blog post is dedicated to you. And here's another video for ya!
16 weeks ago you entered my life and turned it upside down. I could have never imagined loving someone as much as I love you.
This is our first turning point - you'll be in daycare full time and I'll be a full time working Mom. Right now, I can't think of another time in my life that I'll have 16 weeks to be home with you.
I'm pretty sure many moms remember the first day their son or daughter went off to daycare. They have this gut wrenching feeling - will he remember me when I pick him up? Will the daycare provider know how to soothe him? Will he be happy?
With two dry eyes, I pulled into Mrs. Feny's driveway and let out a big sigh. Levi was screaming in the back seat (maybe he was crying for both of us). As I pulled all of the stuff out of the trunk, Mrs. Feny was practically running down the driveway - "Good Morning!! Levi! I'm so excited to see you!" Again, a big sigh...this time of relief. I have a VERY good feeling that Mrs. Feny is a perfect match for us. She seems very genuine with Levi. She was so concerned when she saw his brace when she met him earlier this summer and was SO happy to see him this morning.
After informing her of Levi's antics, I said my goodbye to my smiling boy and walked back to my car. I turned around one last time only to see that Levi wasn't smiling anymore. He was staring at me with a furrowed brow and if he could speak I think he would have been saying, "where are you going, Mommy?" It was heartbreaking.
I promised myself I wasn't going to call and check in. If I let myself - I would probably have called every hour. After watching a LOT of meaningless, trashy television that had built up on my DVR and a quick lunch with my boss, I jumped out of bed at 3:40 to go and pick up Levi. As much as I enjoyed the time to myself, I missed my little man.
Mrs. Feny writes a report of the daily happenings in a spiral notebook that now has "LEVI" on the cover:
Welcome to the First Day in Feny Daycare (9.7.2010)
WHAT I DID TODAY:
When I came, I seemed to be: HAPPY.
I ate at:
8:30 am (3oz)
10:30 am (3oz)
12:30 pm (3oz)
2:50 pm (3oz)
I changed at:
9:30 am
11:15 (dirty diaper)
2:15
I slept from:
8:50 am - 9:15 am
12:30 pm - 2:10 pm
During the day, I enjoyed the following activities:
- In the morning, I had tummy time for 10 minutes.
- I liked looking at my black and white book during tummy time.
- I was happy to see Kaysan (her son) say "hi" to me.
- We went for a walk at the park.
- I liked looking around the park.
- We played music and Mrs. Feny sang "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"
- I love when Mrs. Feny talks to me. I was happy & laughing.
- We read the book about "Eye Spy an Octupus"
While Michael and I go and make money to support this little guy, I have confidence that Levi is in good hands....and there is nothing better than knowing what he's doing all day :) This woman is good - she actually got Levi to take TWO naps in the crib.
I'm happy to report that we survived our first of many first days.....
I preface this post knowing that Levi is a healthy baby boy and I know there are babies out there that are far less fortunate than he is. When I'm having a hard time dealing with his snowboard, I try and think about those who don't have it as easy as we do.
That being said - it doesn't make my day-to-day any easier. Yes, I know this will pass. Yes, I know that Levi won't remember a thing. Yes, I know that all this hard work will result in perfect feet. But it's hard to keep my eyes on the prize when Levi can't soothe himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. When his foot slips half way out of his shoe and causes him discomfort. When he can't kick his left foot independently from his right and screams in frustration. When it's obvious he's unhappy with the snowboard on because when we take it off it's instant calm, coos and smiles. While the day-to-day is hard for me and sometimes Levi (he's starting to have more fun with the bar - see previous post), I do have to keep in the back of my head that it is working and all of the words of encouragement from friends and family.
Here is a picture of Levi on our way to his first doctor's appointment. He is five days old.
Here is Levi (day 97) coming home from Michael's first scrimmage (he's the JV Soccer coach at QO - Go Cougars!).
Important to note - Levi is sleeping in both pictures. At Day 5 (and many days after that), he pulled his feet in and held them there for comfort. You'll see at Day 97 - he's comfortable with them sitting in the "correct" position. Huge progress. Huge.
Levi rolled over once before he got his snowboard on....Michael hadn't seen it and I didn't catch it on film.....but I caught it on Thursday! Four days shy of his three month birthday, Levi is mobile!
Here are some still shots from Thursday morning (8.20.10)
As most of you know - I played field hockey at UNC. Similar to labor, my body was pushed to the limit every August when we reported for preseason and had to run the Guantlet (A mile in 6 mintues, a minute rest. A half mile in 3 minutes, a minute rest. A quarter mile in a minute and a half, a minute rest. 200 yards in 35 seconds, a minute rest. 10 40 yard shuttles in under 10 seconds with a 30 second rest in between). Just writing about it makes my stomach turn. I DREADED the Guantlet more than anything I've ever dreaded in my life. I'd spend all summer gearing up to run this fitness test, only (sadly) to never pass (I wasn't far off...just didn't hit all of the times that were required). Ask me to do it today and HA - I'd simply laugh in your face.
I experienced this similar dread earlier this week. No, not because I had to run a guantlet (who would EVER just run that for fun??) but because I had to attach a bar to Levi's shoes that will keep his feet locked in position for 23 hours a day for 6 weeks. How do you explain to a 3 month old that when he wants to bend his left leg, he has to bend his right as well? You don't.
Here is a picture (from the internet - this is not Levi) of (what we're calling) his snowboard:
After Levi woke up from our drive home from seeing Dr. Tuck to get fitted for his snowboard, the crying ensued. He cried for 7 hours, only breaking to eat. We couldn't take it anymore and against the doctor's orders - we took it off. We decided we would call Dr. Tuck in the morning - something just didn't seem right. Tuck instructed us to remove the bar and to have Levi wear just the shoes for three days to get him used to having something on his feet. Once we attached the bar again, Tuck wanted us to position Levi's feet at 40 degrees for a week or so, instead of 60 degrees where he first placed them. Again, let's gradually get him used to this new norm.
Levi was back to his old self and like him, I was smiling again. While smiling on the outside, the feeling of dread was growing as the three days came to an end. We had to do it. We had to reattach this bar. It's the only way to make Levi's feet "normal" so he's able to run, jump and go snowboarding with his Daddy later in life. It's in our hands to adjust his feet. He doesn't know it - but he's counting on us to make them better. So on Sunday, August 8th around 9pm, I put on a brave face and watched Michael attach the bar while Levi slept. I waited for the screams - but there was nothing. Maybe the decrease in the angle was making the difference. Maybe Levi has just come to accept this as his norm. Who knows - but in my eyes I have one brave little guy for a son.
Now, I can't say it's been that easy. Levi still gets frustrated. He's not sleeping through the night anymore (yes, he was on an amazing 9am - 5/6am schedule). But relatively speaking, he's doing great. I know he's not going to remember any of this....I think most of the time, I'm the one who has a harder time with it. Hey, you never know. Maybe we have the next Shaun White on our hands.....
I know there were be many times in Levi's life where I will have this feeling of dread...but I'm proud to say that I've overcome the first one. And...the best part of all this hard work - look at his progress!!
After 5 consecutive nights of sleeping from 9pm to either 5am or 6am, Levi broke his habit. Last night the little guy was up at 1am for over an hour and up for the day at 5:30 am. Maybe one day Michael and I will learn that going to bed at 11:45pm isn't very smart when you have a newborn who doesn't have a regular sleep pattern. Sigh....
Levi is always super fun in the morning. Not that he isn't at night - but he is just a happy happy camper when the day starts. So this morning I was playing games with him to get him to crack a smile, when low and behold the familiar "I stick my tongue out at you and hope you mimic me" game turned funny. I heard the sweet sound of my baby boy laughing....
While beaming with excitement, I decided since Levi was in such a good mood, I'd put him on his tummy for tummy time. After holding his head up for what probably seemed like an eternity to him, Levi put his head face down on the mat, buried his shoulder and ROLLED from his tummy to his back. I'm not sure if his own amazement or me shrieking that made him look like he was a deer in headlights once he landed on his back. We tried to make him do it again for Michael to see, but no such luck.....
It's amazing to me that I caught both of these milestones in the same morning. Here's to a lifetime of laughs (and rolls from stomach to back???)!
were the last words I heard as I left my Baby and me class last week..... I beg to differ....
Levi's first vacation to the beach was a huge success! We packed our car full of the essentials: clothes, diapers, wipes, strollers, bathing suits, pack and play, bouncy seat, activity mat, golf clubs, diaper bags, books, and a bathtub. You name it. We had it. Levi was snug as a bug in a rug as we left my parents house early Sunday morning....
We left an empty seat in the back to keep Levi company if he needed it....which he did (ok, maybe he didn't, but I felt bad for him sitting back there for so long staring at nothing). One of us was back there pretty much the entire way down to the OBX. But generally speaking, Levi did a FANTASTIC job - he slept the majority of the way!
We arrived at "Our Fant-a-sea" (our house which we renamed the Bomb Diggity) and were blown away. Eric and I grew up going to OCMD every summer - a place full of people, people and MORE people. Every square inch of OCMD is built up - whether it be a Sunsations, a Putt-Putt course or an apartment building. Don't get me wrong, I love OCMD and all the memories, but bringing two infants to the crazy world of the eastern shore just didn't seem like our cup-of-tea. I had heard if you wanted to really relax, head to the Outer Banks. And so we did, and boy did we relax.
Bomb Diggity was HUGE - each sub-unit of our family had their own floor. The house was within the community of the Pine Islands - which offered a pool, tennis courts, a fitness center and beach access (which was only a 3 minute walk away). Each day, we loaded up the BOB stroller and headed down to the sand. Levi was definitely skeptical of being outside for so long every day, but he seemed to adjust each day to being out in the sun (obviously we had him under umbrellas!)
We all had an amazing time on our first vacation to the Outer Banks. Can't wait to do it again!
Here are some of my favorite pics....
Levi and Daddy passed out on the beach....
Family picture!
First swim in a pool...
The boys passed out on the beach....
Erika & Isaac swimming in the pool...
My Mommy & Daddy!
Eric & Isaac
Isaac is one cool dude
So adorable...
No caption needed.
Bye Bye Outer Banks - we'll be seeing you again - no doubt about it.
Levi had a VERY busy 2 month birthday. We started out Dr. Tucks office to get his second set of casts removed. Yay! His feet look good - although, I'm still concerned that he's pulling them in. We've made progress, but we have gotten him fitted for boots and bars (think of a snowboard). Dr. Tuck said he'll go in these, but we're not sure for how long and for how long each day he'll have to wear them. Again, making progress, but I'm not sure we're there yet. We are seeing Dr. Tuck on August 3rd for an evaluation - so fingers crossed he's happy with the progress!
After Dr. Tuck, we were off to see Dr. Taylor for Levi's 2 month check up. Here are his stats:
10 pounds, 12 ounces (28th percentile)
22 5/8 inches long (40th percentile)
36th percentile for head circumference (I didn't get the measurement!)
All in all, Levi is doing great! Alberto the nurse gave him three shots (2 in one leg, 1 in the other) and an oral vaccine. I left the room for the shots because, well because I did.
Next adventure - we're off to the beach with Meema, Deeda (Lisa & Geof), Eric, Erika and Isaac! The Fuller's have ALWAYS gone to OCMD, but we're heading to the relaxing Outer Banks for some R&R. Can't wait! Levi is ready to take some naps under the umbrella that Deeda bought to keep him safe from the sun!
What's so funny - I called my son Poppy (his first nickname) for 39 weeks and since his arrival I haven't said it once.
(side note.....Levi doesn't have an abundance of boogers in his nose...I have no idea where Booger came from but it's stuck. I'm sure he'll hate it when he gets older)
Michael and I have been working on correcting Levi's positional clubfoot every day since our first appointment with Dr. Tuck after the little guy was born. At first, we were instructed to do the exercises after every diaper change. This was fine - except Levi despised getting his diaper changed and wasn't very relaxed, making the exercises not very pleasant. At our first follow up, Dr. Tuck said we had made some progress - but he was still concerned that the horizontal crease on the bottom of both of Levi's feet was still present. If in four weeks the creases weren't gone, Levi was most likely going to have to get casts on his legs and feet.
We were sent home with the same assignment - exercises regularly throughout the day - but this time, pick a time when Levi is relaxed. So instead of doing them after his diaper was changed (which he now LOVES), we switched to after he ate. We had four weeks to make progress - our goal was to get the creases to go away. As the next appointment approached, I knew deep down that casts were in sight. The creases just weren't going away and as often as we did the exercises, Levi was naturally pulling his feet in for comfort.
My thoughts were validated yesterday (7/8/10) when Dr. Tuck confirmed my fears. Levi was going to have to have a set of casts put on....tomorrow. As any mother would do, I started to think of all the bad things - would he be comfortable? would it hurt? would he be able to be swaddled at night? would he be able to swing in his swing? I'm sure deep down Michael was thinking these things - but he repeatedly reminded me that in a few weeks this will all be over. His feet will be perfectly normal and we can put this all behind us. I keep trying to remind myself of this.....
Levi was a champ today. With a full belly and a room full of interesting things to stare at (a light, a venetian blind, Dr. Tuck), he laid quietly as Dr. Tuck positioned his foot and wrapped the casts on. He actually cooed and cracked a smile, while I sat and wiped away tears. I couldn't believe I was doing it - but I actually took pictures while Dr. Tuck worked his magic. I figured that later in life when this is all behind us, they'll be nice to have.
Here are the series of pictures of my brave little man.....
Waiting for Dr. Tuck in the waiting room. His feet are slightly cut out of the picture, but you can see how he pulls them in:
"Hey, Mom! Why are you crying?!"
"I'm fine! Dr. Tuck and nurse Beth are going to make my feet all better!"
Half way done...
On our way home....sound asleep....
Levi,
I have no doubt in my mind that you will do great the entire time these casts are on your legs. You are one brave little boy and I love you so much.
Generally speaking, I had a really easy pregnancy. Minimal nausea. Moderate backache. Extreme (yet short lived, which made it tolerable) heartburn. Sustaining a life was, generally speaking, pretty easy. I knew it would get a little bit more difficult to sustain the life once he entered the world, but I knew with Michael by my side and once we got into a routine it'd most likely be pretty easy. And for the most part it has been. Levi is one chill kid. He cries when he wants something (a blanket, some food, a diaper change, a position change). But once he is soothed, we get to enjoy faces like this:
I had made the decision to breastfeed Levi very early on for a few reasons:
1- It's free (and I'm not getting paid maternity leave).
2- It's convenient.
3- I HATE HATE HATE the smell of formula.
4- It couldn't be that hard. Women have been doing this... well, forever. Why couldn't I?
Within the first hour of his birth, we (Levi and I) started our journey down the breastfeeding path. It didn't go so smoothly. Marissa (our labor & delivery nurse) talked me through our first try - but Levi didn't seem to latch on properly and I had no idea what I was doing. It wasn't as easy as it was when I practiced with a doll at the breastfeeding class we attended. Everything I learned went out the window as I frantically tried to feed my son. Marissa assured me that it would get easier. Fast forward four hours or so (it was now 3am). No latch on. I was starting to panic. Put him back in! Sustaining this life was MUCH easier when he was inside. After 40 minutes of sleep in 24 hours, I was awoken by a voice over the intercom reminding me of the breastfeeding class at 8am. I jumped out of bed and off we went. I got a few helpful tips and FINALLY Levi latched on like a pro - SUCCESS! When we left our temporary home at Shady Grove, I felt very confident that I was able to sustain Levi's life with my breastmilk.
Things didn't go according to plan once we got home. I was EXTREMELY sore and Levi lost 10% of his birth weight (which our doctor said was ok - but we had to get it back up). Suddenly, sustaining this life wasn't as easy anymore. Breastfeeding wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. No one warned me how difficult it was - how much it would hurt (not that I'm blaming anyone - I just wasn't prepared for it). On his fifth day of life, the doctor suggested pumping my breastmilk every other feeding to give myself a chance to heal and relax. So I did and I felt SO much better. Once I started the pump, I didn't want to turn back. I was able to relax again. I wasn't wincing at the thought of feeding Levi. And Michael (actually, anyone) could feed him, too. I made myself believe it was a win - win situation. Levi was getting my milk (and not formula) and I wasn't in pain.
But deep down I was crushed. I was missing out on this amazing bonding experience that everyone talks about. Instead of looking down at his adorable face, I was attached to a machine. Instead of enjoying alone time with Levi, I was in the kitchen washing bottle after bottle. It amazes me what the female body has to go through to sustain a life. There is no rest for the weary. Women labor to bring the baby into the world and then, without a second of rest we are expected to sustain the life (without a manual). I'm not saying that men have nothing to do with raising the baby (I've said it before and I'll say it again - Michael is AMAZING with Levi), but when it comes down to it - it's on my shoulders to keep him nourished. Yeah, yeah there is formula, but I really did not want to go down that path (see reasons listed above). I continued pumping for the next 28 days, sometimes as often as every two hours. On average, the dishwasher was run twice a day. I was growing more and more impatient with the pump and my hatred for formula was slowly diminishing. It couldn't be that bad.
By Thursday, June 24th, I had frozen over 80 ounces of milk - not bad! Around 7pm on the 24th, I went into the kitchen to prepare a bottle for Levi and realized nothing was clean. I was so exhausted, I threw in the towel. I picked Levi up, went into the nursery and said to him, "Levi - we're going to do this. I'm going to be brave and work through the pain and you are going to latch on like a champ". I was brave. And he latched right on. I'm happy to report he's had 4 bottles since that night.... It was painful at first but we've really made progress.
I know that if it didn't work out and we did have to go to formula, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. I know he'll grow up to be a strong man no matter what he drinks. But I'm thrilled to be able to say that since August 24th, 2009, I have sustained his life, inside and out of the womb.
I can't help but wonder who came up with the saying "sleeping like a baby" and what they intended it to actually mean. My interpretation is someone who is soundly sleeping, with no chance of being disturbed. Before Levi arrived, the most common advice people would give me was to get my sleep while I can. So wouldn't the saying be misleading? According to all of you out there, babies don't sleep. At least not at night and not for an extended period of time. I mean yeah, Levi is super cute when he dreams, but I really expect him to wake at any moment (because of what people have told me). I'm probably jinxing us - but Levi is actually "sleeping like a baby". He has slept over 7 hours straight the last three nights in a row (8 hours straight the last two nights!!). I don't know if it's because we wake him every two hours throughout the day to feed him or if we're just blessed with a "good" sleeper, but whatever the reason, I love it.
12:01 am - I sleep soundly in this massive box in between these two white humps. It doesn't let me move around at night because Mommy and Daddy are afraid I'm going to roll over onto my face and not be able to roll back over (Steph here - we got him a sleep positioner - he actually likes to be on his side to sleep. This way, we know he's not able to roll onto his stomach). I also have noticed there is this fuzzy animal that watches over me all night long. I'm not sure if I like him so much. I feel like he should be able to make noise, or something (Steph here - this fuzzy creature is his Sleep Sheep (which Michael and I have named "Kevin" - don't ask) and can make noise - we have three choices: "mother's heartbeat", "rainforest" & "ocean". We haven't actually needed to use it because Levi falls asleep on his own pretty well).
Anywhere from 12:45 am - 4:30am - I get hungry and have to scream my head off until Mommy & Daddy come and get me. Geesh! It seems like they take a long time to get over to me.....I think I wake them up! Mommy and Daddy do a good job of getting me back to bed about 45 minutes after I wake them up. I'm typically still really tired and want to sleep more!
Anywhere from 5:30 am - 9:00 am - I'm awake again and wanting more food. Sometimes after I eat, I go right back to sleep. Sometimes I stay awake and look around because I'm starting to be able to see things that are close to my face.
10am - all of this work is exhausting - back to sleep for me!
11am - ugh - just when I was getting to the good part of the dream, M&D wake me up to eat again. After I stretch for about 10 minutes, I realize I was hungry and am happy that Mommy & Daddy woke me up!
This sleep/eating pattern goes on for the next 8 hours or so...it's so hard being me! I'm drinking lots of Mommy's milk - just about 2.5 ounces every two hours. It's so yummy and is making me grow big and strong. On my 3 week birthday (6.13.10), my weight was up to 8 pounds, 5 ounces. Mommy & Daddy were VERY excited about this.
M&D tell me all the time that I have a good plumbing system. I really don't like when they change the cloth-like thing that covers my bottom half....so sometimes I decide to pee when that thing is off. Sometimes I get it on Mom & Dad, which is my goal...Take that! Unfortunately, I do hit myself on the head quite often.....I'm sure I'll get better aim when I get older.
By the time it turns real dark outside (around 8pm), I'm ready to go back into the big massive box to start dreaming again. Daddy does a really good job of wrapping me up tight in blankets so it feels like I'm still in Mommy's tummy. I love when he does this. It makes me feel like I'm at home.
Things are going really well so far. I love my Mommy & Daddy - I can tell they love me a lot, too!
I think when any woman finds the man of her dreams, one of the criteria for an amazing husband is how they will be as a father. Can you picture yourself raising children with this person? Will he be a fun, cool dad with the ability to lay down the law when needed? There was no question in my mind that Michael was going to be a good father. He works with kids every day. When he reads a story, he does voices for the different characters. His general concern for Amy's (his younger sister) well-being could have been viewed as over-protective but really he just wanted to her to be safe and happy. If he felt this strong about his sister, I could only imagine how he'd feel about his own children.
The title of this post shouldn't suggest to you that I was doubting Michael's ability to be a dad. Any expectation that I had of Michael as a father - he's far exceeded. In the 13 days since Levi has arrived, Michael has not only been a rock for me (I've been an emotional mess) but he's been amazing with Levi. Watching the two of them interact makes my heart smile.
Michael, I love you with all my heart. Levi is one lucky kid to have you as his Daddy.
I've heard it's always a good thing to write down the birth experience because later in life it's always great to go back and read how you brought your child into the world.
I was a little discouraged after my 38 week appointment (Tuesday, 5/18/10). I was still only 80% effaced and I think the doctor was being generous when telling me this percentage because I had expressed how excited I was that I had reached this milestone at the 37 week appointment. I knew that it could still be weeks until Poppy made his grand entrance, but I had hope that the little man would surprise us all by coming a few days early.
We went out to dinner with our friends Libby & Josh on Thursday night (5/20/10) and it was the first time I could just not get comfortable. I blamed it on the booth we were sitting in but deep down thought, could this be it? Could I be in labor? I shoved the feelings aside, again trying not to get my hopes up. Overnight, I diligently counted how many times I got up to pee (seven!) and woke Michael each time to let him know again that something was different.
This "different" feeling was reassured when it took me a good extra 10 minutes to walk the 2 blocks from the bus station to work. My hips felt like they were going to snap in half and I really felt like Poppy had dropped even further down the birth canal. By 11:00am, I threw in the towel and told my boss that I had to go home. Why on earth was I sitting in a cube at work feeling the way I was? I'll never forget when I called Michael to tell him I was heading home....he frantically picked up the phone, "Is this the phone call I've been waiting 9 months for?!" I disappointedly said no but that I was going home because again, something just felt different. The rest of the night was low key. We went on a REALLY long walk, Gary & Emily came over for dinner and we were in bed by 11:30 pm.
Saturday was frustrating to say the least. I was having contractions pretty regularly when I was sitting still, but once I moved, they'd disappear....a signal that it was false labor. :( We went on an evening walk and decided to go pick up some ice cream to satisfy one of my few cravings.
I woke up a few times throughout the night with contractions, but nothing that would warrant a trip to the hospital. Until 7:30 am.... I had gotten a contraction and was breathing through it when all the sudden I felt a pop! I thought, that was weird. I wonder what that was. When the contraction was over and as I was telling Michael about it, I felt this rush of fluid. My water broke!
I had mentioned many times earlier in the week that all I want is for my water to break in the morning at home. That way I'd be with Michael, I would have gotten a good nights sleep, I wouldn't have to worry about it breaking when I was on the bus to work (omg, can you imagine!), and most importantly, I would know for sure that I was in labor. I just really could not believe it actually happening the way I really wanted to.
As Michael started to gather the last minute items for the hospital, I called my doctors office emergency line. Not only did my water break like I wanted it to, but my doctor was on call! Capital Women's Care has 7-8 doctors that rotate days in the hospital. My doctor, Dr. Alter is typically at the hospital on Mondays. He just happened to be on call....it was his weekend. And it was my day to deliver this baby. It couldn't be more perfect.
We made a pit stop at Royal Bagel Bakery to get breakfast because I knew once I checked in I wouldn't be able to eat anything until the baby was born. Yum...bagel :)
After checking into the hospital, I waddled back to Labor Room 1 and got settled. Most of the day was spent seeing visitors, listening to a four hour playlist entitled "Poppy's Birthday" I had made less than 24 hours prior to arrival, and breathing through contractions with the best coach possible. Michael was by my side every step of the way. I had him write down a timeline of events so we didn't forget how I brought Levi into this world:
7:30 am - Water Breaks!
8:15 am - Stop off at Royal Bakery. Announce to the staff that Stephanie insisted on stopping here before heading to the hospital. Michael walked out with a free danish and a "Congrats! Love, Royal"
8:50 am - Check into hospital (it was POURING down rain when we arrived).
9:40 am - First cervical exam by nurse Kerry. 90% effaced, "fingertip" (barely 1cm) dilated.
11:00 am - Second cervical exam by Dr. Alter (ouch!). 95% effaced. 2cm dilated. Yay - we're making progress!
11:00 am - 12:30 pm - did a few laps around the hospital. Actually ventured out to the waiting room....
3:00 pm - Third cervical exam by nurse Trisha. 100% effaced. 2 cm dilated. Bring on the pitosin. I needed to get this labor thing moving along.
3:20 pm - "Pit drip" started. Pitosin is a drug that speeds up contractions. It is administered in 2 milli-unit increments. I started at 2 milliunits.
4:00 pm - Pit drip increased to 4 milliunits. Things definitely started to feel different. No more facebook updates, no more visitors. Michael was starting to slowly lose feeling in his fingers because I was squeezing his hand so hard.
5:00 pm - Pit drip increased to 6 milliunits. Everyone has different reactions to Pitosin. We quickly found out after 5pm that I am pretty sensitive to the drug. I was thrown into full on contractions with very very little time to recover between them. All of the sudden I got the feeling I wasn't going to be able to do this. I had the mindset going into delivery that I did not want to use any drugs if I didn't have to. I told Michael that when I first started asking for the epidural to talk me out of it. So he did just like I asked him. He tried to talk me out of it.
5:15 pm - Michael asks me to wait until 5:30 before getting the nurse. I couldn't do it. I insisted he get the nurse NOW. It was the most pain I've ever felt - with absolutely no recovery time. I had also heard horror stories of the Anesthesiologist taking up to an hour to show up to administer the procedure.
5:22 pm - In strolls Dr. Owens, the man who was going to save my life. He was very calm and started some small talk to attempt to get my mind off things. After confirming I was from the area and that maybe the accent he was hearing was from when I went to UNC, there was a moment of silence. "You aren't going to like me very much. I graduated from Duke." I (jokingly) insisted that I get a new doctor. A Dukie poking my back to help a Tarheel. Say it ain't so! After some back and forth about the number of basketball championships, the epidural was in and I believed I was on my way to a world of numbness bliss. Um - not so much.
6:00 pm - While I couldn't necessarily feel my legs anymore, I could still feel the contractions coming and STRONG. When was this miracle drug going to kick in. The nurses started moving more quickly around the room and I could sense something wasn't quite right. I was quickly given a shot to slow everything down. The contractions were still coming at an uncontrollable rate, making things extremely uncomfortable for me and dropping Poppy's heartbeat low enough to warrant intervention.
7:00 pm - All is calm. I wasn't feeling great, but I was definitely not feeling the intense pain I was feeling just minutes before. Trisha's (our nurse) shift was over and we welcomed Marissa with open arms. (Ironically, Marissa was our nurse when we had our short visit after my fender bender).
7:15 pm - Fourth cervical exam. 100% effaced. 5 cm dilated. We're making progress people! Marissa decides that I needed a position change and flipped me onto my left side.
8:15 pm - Fifth cervical exam. 100% effaced. 10 cm dilated. And I finally heard the words I had been waiting over 12 hours for. We're going to start pushing.
8:45 pm - After some prep work in the room, Dr. Alter arrives and announces that I am going to have this baby during game three of the Lakers/Suns playoff game. I said, what the heck - put it on the TV. The game was just starting.
8:45 pm - 10:25 pm - I pushed and pushed and pushed. I would occasionally open my eyes after a contraction, only to find Dr. Alter & Michael looking up at the TV to see what was going on in the game. For some reason, it really didn't bother me. Again, I have to give a shout out to Michael. He was my punching bag. Dr. Alter would make a joke, I would laugh. Michael made a joke...forget about it. It wasn't funny and I made him know it. (Sorry, honnay!)
10:25 pm - Dr. Alter looks me in the eye and says, "Stephanie, you are going to have this baby by 11pm". That was enough motivation for me to get "serious" and really start pushing.
10:47 pm - The most amazing noise. The first small cry of my son is something I will never forget. He was flopped onto my chest and that was that. Our son had been born. I had survived childbirth.
While it was painful, I would do it a million times over just for the end result. People have always told me that you'll never love anything like you love your child. I now understand what they mean.
Becoming a parent is like nothing I could have possibly imagined. It is already the hardest thing I have ever done and the most wonderful thing I have ever done at the exact same time.
The night we first found out Steph was pregnant was filled with overwhelming joy. I was sitting outside on our balcony while she took her 4th or 5th pregnancy test. I didn't want to get my hopes up...this was really only the first month she had really gone through a complete cycle and so it would be the first opportunity for the miracle to take place. I stared in complete shock as she opened the screen door and made that life-changing announcement, "I'm pregnant!" We grabbed each other and sobbed like babies.
The next weeks passed on slowly. We were desperate for any sign, any indication that our little poppy seed was alive and well. We were so nervous at the first doctor's appointment that we got extremely annoyed with the sonographer for not coming forth with the information we needed right away. But, once we heard that heartbeat, it was all we needed to confirm what the little blue line had told us...we had created a life.
After our 12 week appointment we were finally able to share our news with the world. We were expecting a baby and he or she was going to arrive right in time for summer vacation. Of all the people we couldn't wait to share our news with, the people I was most excited to tell were my Grandma and Grandpa Doggett. They have 14 grandchildren who are all between the ages of 18 and 45. They've been waiting for a great-grandchild for a very long time. Last summer when we visited them in France, Grandpa told me in no uncertain terms that he was counting on me. I assured him that he wouldn't have to wait much longer.
People all asked us the same few questions once we told them our news. "When is the due date? How is she feeling? Are you going to find out the sex?" Considering the fact that we were literally counting down the days until the 20-week sonogram, there was no way we were going to let them keep the boy/girl secret from us. The more impatient we became, the more ridiculous our attempts at getting an early sonogram became. "The sonogram equipment doesn't look that complicated," I thought, "Why can't we just go to a walk-in clinic somewhere and get one? I bet there's a 7-11 somewhere that can do a sonogram for us."
The date for the 20-week sonogram finally arrived and we stared anxiously at the blurry screen. We saw what looked like 3 big bumps right next to each other. As the nurse pointed at the first big bump and said, "Ok we're looking up at him in this shot. Here's a leg..." we KNEW we had a baby boy. How else could you explain the three legs?! :) Steph burst into tears and I was at a loss for words (which doesn't happen often). We had so been looking forward to finding out the sex of the baby because we wanted to start saying "he" or "she" and stop calling the baby "it." Finding out the sex made him human...a person...not just a little blurry blob of hope.
Up until this point, our entire experience as parents had been full of excitement, joy, hope, anticipation, and pride...all positive things. We had no idea that right after getting the news that he was a boy, this was all about to change. Our emotions took a monumental nosedive when the technician left the room and the doctor appeared. "We weren't supposed to be seeing a doctor today," we thought. She calmly entered the room, introduced herself, took over the reigns of the machine, and said, "The technician noticed something in the sonogram today. His feet appear to be clubbed." I can't even describe was I was thinking at this moment. The only thing I can remember is FEAR. Complete, uncontrollable fear. Something was wrong. This couldn't be possible. Our baby is perfect. There couldn't possibly be anything wrong with our little guy. The doctor confirmed what the sonographer has seen. When looking at his leg from the side, the bottom of his foot was visible. In the calmest and most professional way possible, the doctor told us all about a condition called Club Foot. His feet were turned to the inside, making his leg look like the shape of a golf club. She explained that it is totally curable, that it's not extremely common, but that when it is treated properly, the child grows up without any developmental problems. He wouldn't have a hard time learning to crawl or walk, and by the time he was 5 or 6, he wouldn't even remember having Club Foot. We heard this information, but we didn't really LISTEN to it. We were still busy thinking about all the little things we might have possibly done wrong that could have caused this. We had feelings of great sadness, disbelief, and most of all, FEAR.
We left the office in a complete daze. We were so proud to announce that we were having a son, but we had no idea how we were going to deal with this other information. We went home and began scouring the internet for information about Club Foot. When we came across Clubfoot.org and watched a video about the Ponseti Method of treatment, we were assured that this condition was completely curable. There might be some restless nights as a result of the treatment, and it wouldn't be easy on him, but our boy was eventually going to be fine. Apparently Club Foot used to be treated with surgery, but children who were treated this way often had painful relapses in the future and all kinds of problems later in life. Thankfully, a doctor at the University of Iowa named Ignacio Ponseti had developed a revolutionary method that didn't require surgery. The Ponseti method involves a series of 4-6 plaster casts that go all the way up the child's legs. These casts are changed weekly to accommodate growth and with each cast, the feet are gradually turned into the correct position. After this comes the difficult part of the treatment, called "Boots and Bars." For 23 hours a day, the child must wear a brace that resembles a snowboard. After a period of time, the brace can be worn only at night. The entire treatment usually lasts until the child is two years old. After that point, no further interventions are necessary.
Learning about all this right off the bat was a little comforting, but I still wasn't ready to accept it. Even though all my research told me that there is no known cause for Club Foot, that it may be hereditary, and that we ourselves did NOTHING at all to cause it, I still felt guilty, depressed, embarrassed, and most of all, SCARED. I know that these are all feelings that every parent has at some point in their child's life, but why did we have to go through it right now? It just wasn't fair.
Steph wanted to tell people about it...she wanted the comfort of others to help her deal with it emotionally. I was the opposite. I didn't want anyone's "bull ____ sympathy." I didn't want someone just telling me, "Everything will be ok" until I was ready to believe that it actually was. We told our parents about it and as expected, they were incredibly supportive. Their reactions, or lack thereof, signified to us that maybe this really wasn't something to be afraid of. They reassured us that "These kinds of things happen" and that "He'll be fine." My mom told me that it sounded exactly like what my cousin had when he was young. She encouraged me to talk to my aunt about it. I thought that would be a good idea, but I still wasn't ready.
The weeks passed on and we became to accept that despite the fact that our boy would be born with this condition, he was still going to be able to do all the things that little boys do. He'd still be able to walk, run, live a normal life, and most importantly to me, play soccer. It was comforting to learn about famous people who had it, especially famous athletes. The figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi had Club Foot. If someone that graceful once had deformed feet, then maybe our guy would be ok too. USA soccer legend Mia Hamm had also Club Foot, she was one of the greatest female soccer player in our country's history. Finally, Troy Aikman had Club Foot! All of a sudden, I liked Aikman for the first time...after hating him all my life for being a Dallas Cowboy.
Next we started looking for a pediatric orthopaedic surgeon who was trained in the Ponseti Method. We had learned from the websites and blogs that there were many doctors who still didn't use this method and that we need to be very careful in selecting one who was. We discovered, to our complete surprise, that there was a doctor named Steven Tuck at Shady Grove Orthopaedics who actually trained under Dr. Ponseti at the University of Iowa! About 2 months before the due date, we set up an appointment with the very busy Dr. Tuck. During the appointment, Dr. Tuck affirmed all we had learned about Club Foot. He took a look at the sonogram photos and reiterated that he couldn't be TOO sure (you can't really be certain about anything based on a sonogram...they are much more advanced than they used to be, but they can still sometimes lie) and that the Club Foot might possibly only be on one of the feet. His demeanor was very comforting to us, not only because we knew of his all-star Club Foot status as a doctor, but also because of the way he explained the simplicity of the treatment. He told us, "If you're REALLY worried about something like Club Foot, I'd hate to see what you're like when he gets his driver's license." Granted, this might be a line he'd used a thousand times before, but it surely resonated with us.
Now that we were confident that we knew what we were up against, we started to talk to more of our family and friends about it. I explained the whole thing to several friends who were very supportive and I am extremely thankful to them. We also talked to my aunt at our baby shower and what she had to say was very helpful as well. It's times like these when you really appreciate all the people you have around you who genuinely care about you. Now that I had accepted it for myself, I was able to appreciate the votes of confidence and messages of support I was lucky enough to receive from others.
The day our son was born was the best day of my life (well, our wedding was pretty cool, and so was my Bar-Mitzvah because at the time I felt like I had won the lottery with all those presents...) but May 23rd, 2010 is definitely up there. Moments after our baby was born and we had a few seconds to dry off the tears (and nasty baby goo) I was with the baby over at the warming table (which looked like something that wouldn't be out of place at a Kentucky Fried Chicken) Steph called over to me and asked, "How are his feet???" I couldn't think of the right thing to say, so all I could come up with was, "They are exactly how they are supposed to be." They looked like all the feet of the Club Foot babies we had seen in pictures on the internet. Thanks to all the emotional preparation, I wasn't shocked or worried when I saw them and I was able to focus all my attention on the miracle that had just occurred...Baby Levi had made it safely into this world.
Looking back, those first several hours were like a whirlwind. So many emotions being felt and special moments being shared. I didn't even have time to worry about Levi's feet. When the pediatrician came by to give him his first check-up, she asked whether or not we had known his feet were going to be clubbed. She examined them carefully...moved them around and bent and twisted them into various positions. She declared that the feet were, "extremely pliable" and that "the Club Foot might not be so severe" but that we'd have to wait to see what Dr. Tuck had to say. We had already made an appointment with him for Thursday, May 27.
We had two doctor's appointments scheduled for the 27th, one with the pediatrician and one with Dr. Tuck. Luckily, we had scheduled the pediatrician first because we ended up having to wait for Dr. Tuck for almost an hour (he's a very busy guy). When he finally entered the room, it took him less than a minute to examine Levi's feet. He moved them around the same way the pediatrician had done. Then, he looked up at us and said words that I will never forget. "This is not Club Foot."
He told us that Levi only had "positional Club Foot" which was not a birth defect, but simply caused by the way he was situated inside the womb. If it were REAL Club Foot, he would not be able to bend the feet into the proper position at all. He showed us how easily he could get the feet to reach the "mid line." The treatment of positional Club Foot is very simple. All we have to do is conduct some very easy exercises every time Levi has a diaper change and the feet should be correct within a few WEEKS! Dr. Tuck explained that he has treated over 2,000 kids with positional club foot. 200 (10%) of them had to be in the casts for 1-2 weeks following the exercises and only 20 (1%) of them had to wear the Boots and Bars for a short period afterward.
After hearing this, I asked Dr. Tuck, "Is it normal for me to feel like hugging you right now?" I didn't know what else to say, I was so happy. I looked over at Stephanie and she was already beginning to cry. Our boy was going to be perfectly fine...in FAR less time and with FAR less aggravation than we had originally thought.
Now we didn't have to worry about having him in casts for my brother's wedding, didn't have to worry about dealing with the stares of strangers at the grocery store, didn't have to worry about getting poop on his casts when we changed his diaper, didn't have to worry about giving him a special kind of bath, and most of all, he wouldn't have to go through any pain or suffering at all.
Even as I sit here writing this, I still can't believe it. We had gone through the entire range of human emotions with regards to his "Club Foot." Even if he had the most severe case of Club Foot known to man, Dr. Tuck could still have treated him and he would have been perfectly fine. But the fact that we don't have to go through any of that (as long as we keep up with the exercises) is such an enormous weight off our shoulders that I can't sufficiently describe.
Right now, I'm typing this message as my beautiful 5 day old son sleeps peacefully next to me. I wish I could tell him how happy I am. I wish he could understand how lucky we are. Becoming a first-time parent is difficult enough and I'm so thankful that we won't have to confront the challenge of raising a child with Club Foot.
Born May 23, 2010 at 10:47 pm, Levi weighed 7 pounds, 14 ounces and was 20 inches long. We have LOTS to share, but are getting ready to leave room B20 at Shady Grove. The doctors and nurses have been amazing, but we are ready to get our little man home. Thank you EVERYONE for all the well wishes, visits and phone calls - we are so lucky to feel so much love. More to come soon!
Eric and I were beyond fortunate to have two extra siblings growing up. We saw my cousins Michael & Toddy at least once a week, whether it be to watch the Redskins or for a Sunday cookout. Even though I was the only girl, it was very cool to have three brothers.
As I mentioned in my speech at Eric's wedding, Eric and I always talked about how cool it would be to have kids around the same time (much to Erika's surprise). Well, our dream has started to come true. At 4:43 am 0n Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 Isaac Arthur Fuller made his entrance into the world.
The entire experience will be one that I don't think mine or Erika's families will ever forget. We set up shop in the Birthing Center waiting room at 12pm on Monday afternoon and throughout the day/night made bets on the time of birth, height, weight & gender, watched Lost, fretted about how long Erika was at 9 cm and bonded over the anticipation of the arrival. I have to give a shout out to my sis-in-law Erika, who for 31 hours labored to bring Isaac into the world. She's a role model and I will certainly remember her courage when it's my turn. The midwives ranted and raved about E&E's preparation, how supportive Eric was for Erika and asked if Erika ran marathons because she was so strong.
So, without further ado...I present to you, my handsome nephew and Poppy's future partner in crime, Isaac Arthur Fuller....
Here is Levi (day 97) coming home from Michael's first scrimmage (he's the JV Soccer coach at QO - Go Cougars!). 
Father's Day - June 20th
"I'm fine! Dr. Tuck and nurse Beth are going to make my feet all better!"
Half way done...
